Divine Comic Pillows

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

"And my board approved this?"

'What you did was not only 'wrong' - it was 'wrongedy-wrong-wrong!''

"Our records indicate you should be in hell. But since you’ve been married for forty years we’ll count that as time served."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Zeus's Caddy

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"Beware of God"

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

The Reason for Storms

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"That's my boy!"

"The amendments are coming next week!"

God's Law.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."