Divine Comedy Pillows

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

Arnold had not been much of a saint in his life and now he paid the price.

'You'd feel paranoid too, if you were a martyr!'

'There's a lot of non-fundamentalists getting in here, Lord- we need a fence to keep them out!'

'Flood it and we'll do a retake.'

"Frankly, I owe my presence up here to having a great public relations staff."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Zeus's Caddy

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

'Read that last part back to me.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"Beware of God"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'