Divine Storyteller Gifts

"We've always admired those literate prayers of yours, and it's our hope that you'll keep them coming even though you're dead."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"Hey Noah, there is a guy named Jonah who wants to book passage."

"We only got six days of funding."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Eat my dust!"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Local News in Heaven

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Phoenix

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Santa CGI Effect

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"You think it's tough down there?"

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.