Scripture Study Gifts

"The Bible says ‘it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God,’ so I built a bigger needle."

"The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the goat.' Hey, kinda like us!"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Meet the scribe"

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Caption Contest TK

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Bible Bloopers

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"