Religious Storytellers Gifts

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"King Herod sent us."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

'...And remember, tune in next week at this same time for the exciting conclusion of 'David and Bathsheba.'!'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

Ark under giant brolly.

"Relax, I grade on the curve."