Christian Story Lovers Gifts

"I'm really excited about this opportunity, but I'm hoping there's room to negotiate the title? What about 'Rises-to-the-Occasions-Mary?', or 'Cool-Under-Pressure-Mary?'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Little Known Moments In History

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

Moses' TV guide.

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."