Sacred Story Lover Gifts

'Really? - You wrote these with ME in mind?'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"What did Jesus order?"

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

Regifts of the Magi

William Tell

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

Fairy tale

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.