Sacred Story Lover Gifts

'Really? - You wrote these with ME in mind?'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"What did Jesus order?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

William Tell

Regifts of the Magi

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

Fairy tale

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"