Storytale Lover Gifts

'You and your 'let's go joint the Neighbourhood Watch patrol'!'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

The tooth fairy.

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"What did Jesus order?"

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

Fyodor Dostoevsky

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'