Surreal Story Lover Gifts

Kafka at his typewriter

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Convenience.

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"What did Jesus order?"

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

A man walks his dog with the leash attached to the dog's shadow instead of the dog.

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"