Surreal Story Lover Gifts

Kafka at his typewriter

You ready, punk?! What's happening? It's Sadie time! I ate under-cooked pork and now I'm dreaming. I'm going to turn you into a man! Close your eyes and this thing will be gone. Loosely speaking. Still there, hurtling insults. People, this is not a dream!

"It's my family! They're free-floating in a panel with no border!"

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

Convenience.

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"What did Jesus order?"

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

A man walks his dog with the leash attached to the dog's shadow instead of the dog.

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

Fairy tale