Romantic Tale Lover Gifts

Ralph Rackstraw and Josephine HMS Pinafore

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

The tooth fairy.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

J. R. R. Tolkien

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

The Thinker / The Kiss.

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Accountant Bedtime Stories

"My God! There goes middle management."

Happiness is a cuddle woolen pullover on a cold winter day.

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