Fairytale Lover Gifts

7 Dwarves of Menopause.

'Mirror mirror on the,,,'

'There's why your feet hurt: You have candy corns!'

'Simpkins, I'd like to introduce you to the secret of my business success.'

Grimm's Fairytales - The Elves and the Shoemaker

Humpty Dumpty: THE LATER YEARS. . .

"I don't care who's the fairest one of all, I asked for a unified theory of physics!"

'Daddy, tell me again about the brave boy accountant who used his finger to plug the tax loophole in the revenue dike.'

"It's Valentine's day, and you want to hang out with your friends."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"....And all but 99% lived happily ever after."

Rumpelstiltskin's office supplies. (spun straw into gold).

"I believe my house may have stepped in something."

"I've never seen anything like it. All of your teeth are sweet."

'Let's remain focused people, we're on a witch hunt here.'

"Think of it as a career move."

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

'It's King Midas... Quick, take the signs down!'

The Ruined Romance

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'It's true, I stole a pig and away I ran, but I did NOT push Humpty Dumpty off his wall!'

Antique oriental carpets.

"I'm guessing this is bean related."

Here "Lies" Pinocchio

'How would you like a fairy tale wedding before I eat you?'

IRS 'We'll have one long form, one short form, and one just-right form.'

Countess

"Grandma? I just sent you a goodie basket."

Jack and the Beanstalk window cleaning.

Grimm's Fairytales - The Young Giant and the Tailor

The Little Engine That Understood

Fairly unbalanced of them all

Uncle Mort's Storytime. There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many grandkids she didn't know what to do. She was gen'rous and kind and made apple pie. But they never stopped by to say hi. Huh? It was hot in the shoe, and the ceiling was hard. She could have used help mowing the yard. But don't worry 'bout her, you ungrateful brood! Now let's turn to Red Riding Hood. Waaaah! Put down the book, grandpa.

"Nothing is ever in my size either."

Goldilocks and the Three Avocados