Modern-day Fairytale Lover Gifts

'We'll make the cow tax deductable.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

A Fairytale Update

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

The tooth fairy.

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

The Frog Prince

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'