Fairytale Lovers Gifts

"The great thing about the ball taking place on Zoom is that you can wear sweatpants."

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"If it ends up looking good on my chinny chin chin, I'll grow a full beard."

The Pied Piper

Windfarm lobbyists will be turned into marshmallow.

'You read him Jack and the Beanstalk again, didn't you?'

"... No, I don't think it's very likely that the Wolf is our pizza delivery boy. But on the other hand, I'm really hungry for that pizza."

Skateboarding Prince Charming

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Toadstools

The tooth fairy.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

A Fairytale Update

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

Home Sweet Home

Rocking Witches.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Puss in cement boots"

The Pink Bantha

"Recalculating route..."

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'