Fairytale Lovers Gifts

"The great thing about the ball taking place on Zoom is that you can wear sweatpants."

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"If it ends up looking good on my chinny chin chin, I'll grow a full beard."

The Pied Piper

Windfarm lobbyists will be turned into marshmallow.

'You read him Jack and the Beanstalk again, didn't you?'

"... No, I don't think it's very likely that the Wolf is our pizza delivery boy. But on the other hand, I'm really hungry for that pizza."

Skateboarding Prince Charming

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

Toadstools

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

A Fairytale Update

The tooth fairy.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Rocking Witches.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Recalculating route..."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Puss in cement boots"

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."