Tragic Tale Lover Gifts

Bending beneath the weight of his burden, he lay it upon the moss (Atala).

Trilby - 'Svengali! . . . Svengali! . . . Svengali! . . .'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

J. R. R. Tolkien

Tosca stabs Scarpia

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

"I sensed a fine balance between the misery on the stage and the misery in the audience."

"Of course, people were much shorter back then."

Carmen

Finding Bigfoot

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

La Boheme - Mimi dies

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

Signs grampa has run out of 'When I Was Your Age' stories.

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

Trilby - 'I believe you, my boy!'

'You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on.'

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

'You've become a right pain in the neck.'

'Our tuna salad baguettes are this big!'

'I can't sleep Dad. Tell me another scary story?'

Today's special guest: Rudy Park. Author of the bestselling memoir iMac Therefore I Am. Raised by rabid chimps in the desert, Rudy went on to invent the computer, and date Paris Hilton. Such an inspiring tale, young man. I made it all up. And so honest, too. Let me come clean!

"Hopefully, the 7-foot guy is on our side."

Greek Tragedy

'I,m trying something new...giraffe manure!'

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class. I'm the one you said would never amount to anything.'

Only Larry showed a look of concern as he remembered his mother's warnings that he should never run with Scissors.

Begging Leprechaun, out of luck.

Comedy, Tragedy, Facelift

Tosca discovers Mario Cavaradossi is stabbed

Adam chasing Eve with a leaf blower.

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.