Storytale Enthusiast Gifts

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Victor Hugo

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Jacques et Jille

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"This is what's known as a book."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Hansel and Gretal

Alberich steals the gold

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"