Tale-telling Enthusiast Gifts

"The only time a fisherman tells the truth is when he calls another fisherman a liar!"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Fishing Tales

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"Well did he?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Jacques et Jille

Hansel and Gretal

Fishing Boat Derby

Alberich steals the gold

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"So, kids, you should all be thankful we don't live during a potato famine. Especially you, Jimmy."

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."