Tale-telling Enthusiast Gifts

"The only time a fisherman tells the truth is when he calls another fisherman a liar!"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Fishing Tales

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"This is what's known as a book."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Jacques et Jille

Hansel and Gretal

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Well did he?"

Fishing Boat Derby

Alberich steals the gold

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."