Storytelling Aficionado Gifts

Goldilocks Human Resources...Over qualified...Under qualified...Just right!

"She says she's got squatters rights."

Three little pigs.

" 'No!' shouted Mr. Bixbey, slamming his fist down on the table. The floor shook, the walls trembled. Mr. Watson turned ashen. 'Y-y-you m-m-mean w-w-we . . .' The words wouldn't come out. He seemed to choke on each syllable."

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

'My digital revolution was when I learned to count on all ten fingers.'

'Why so reluctant to go on a boat ride? Where is your sense of adventure?'

'By appointment only!!!'

Edith Wharton

'Sorry Jack, but as I said to Jill, it's the two tier system, if you can't afford anything better, it'll have to be just the vinegar and brown paper.'

Anton Chekhov tells a joke...

'Hey diddle diddle all you want. I'm not jumping.'

'Okay, I'm not a Prince, but you're no Princess either.'

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

'Do I climb it or wax it?'

'An owl and a pussycat? -- Is that even legal?'

Fairy Library- Giant Ogre Discovers Hop o' my Thumb and His Brothers

'Let me guess the ending: Humpty Dumpty falls off the wall, sues, and they all live in litigation ever after.'

'Unfortunately, Don lost his camera on the way back from our holiday. But not to worry, he's going to describe all 350 photos in detail for you.'

"Gather round everyone, it's 'Storytime'."

The Non-erotic Adventures of Patty Williams

"In the beginning" --- Is that a great narrative hook or what!

Now hiring merry men. I'm afraid you're overqualified.

Don't be so picky, dear, they taste exactly the same.

Ernie is a documentary filmmaker who tells stories of folks in their professional lives -- I think he should wonk on his film titles more. One film looked at the surprisingly competitive cutthroat world of the dry cleaning business. "The Hanger Games." In another, we see astronomers traveling to remote locations to escape light pollution. "The Dark Night." Ernie showed us the bond among young butchers in an increasingly vegan world. "Stand by Meat"! And he told us the story of a man who i

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"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

"How can I be sure you can deliver the goods? All I've seen so far is a whole lot of posturing."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

The three Musketeers give a PowerPoint.

"Toto, I have a feeling we're not at the Kansas State Fair anymore."

"... and your great great grand father lost the race but the it was discovered the tortoise was on stéroids."

The Princess and the Therapist

"After I won, I came all unglued."

"J'accuse!"