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Goldilocks Human Resources...Over qualified...Under qualified...Just right!

"She says she's got squatters rights."

" 'No!' shouted Mr. Bixbey, slamming his fist down on the table. The floor shook, the walls trembled. Mr. Watson turned ashen. 'Y-y-you m-m-mean w-w-we . . .' The words wouldn't come out. He seemed to choke on each syllable."

Three little pigs.

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

'By appointment only!!!'

'Why so reluctant to go on a boat ride? Where is your sense of adventure?'

'My digital revolution was when I learned to count on all ten fingers.'

Fairy Library- Giant Ogre Discovers Hop o' my Thumb and His Brothers

'Let me guess the ending: Humpty Dumpty falls off the wall, sues, and they all live in litigation ever after.'

'Unfortunately, Don lost his camera on the way back from our holiday. But not to worry, he's going to describe all 350 photos in detail for you.'

'Sorry Jack, but as I said to Jill, it's the two tier system, if you can't afford anything better, it'll have to be just the vinegar and brown paper.'

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

'An owl and a pussycat? -- Is that even legal?'

'Hey diddle diddle all you want. I'm not jumping.'

'Do I climb it or wax it?'

'Okay, I'm not a Prince, but you're no Princess either.'

Anton Chekhov tells a joke...

Edith Wharton

"Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to get me to listen to your podcast?"

"Run, everybody - run for your life! It's them - it's the Koch brothers!"

Jacques et Jille

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down twenty-two dollars and thirty-seven cents."

"J'accuse!"

"After I won, I came all unglued."

The Princess and the Therapist

Dean Ornish's fairy tales

"Miss Dobson, get somebody from security up here, pronto!"

"... and your great great grand father lost the race but the it was discovered the tortoise was on stéroids."

"Toto, I have a feeling we're not at the Kansas State Fair anymore."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

"He's in the play, she's in the-play-within-the-play and the kid is in the-play-within-the-play-within-the-play."

"I can do a better dog voice."

"Where's the cat? Where's the tin roof? What the hell is this?"