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Humpty-Dumpty the ten-part series

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Jacques et Jille

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Hansel and Gretal