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Old woman who lived in a shoe hangs a huge sock out to dry on a clothesline.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Little Princess.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

Jacques et Jille

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'