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Old woman who lived in a shoe hangs a huge sock out to dry on a clothesline.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

The Poky Little Pupa.

Little Princess.

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

Jacques et Jille

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'