Story Time Devotee T-Shirts

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'