Story Time Devotee Gifts

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

The Poky Little Pupa.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

Little Princess.

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'