Story Time Afficionado Gifts

No caption (A daughter shines a light from her cellphone as her dad makes a Twitter icon shadow puppet).

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

The Poky Little Pupa.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'