Storytime Enthusiast Gifts

Yale shadow

'Let's get a few things straight. No speed reading, no silly voices, no skipping pages...'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

Brick House Builders. Wolf Says: 'I understand you need a general contractor...'

'Give it your best shot, Dad. I've had a hard day.'

Cows Jumping Over the Moon.

'...but the third little pig heeded government advice and built his house from blast proof concrete.'

"The Wise Men brought gifts: ginseng, St John's and ginkgo biloba"

'I'm taking you off porridge.'

Bedtime Reading

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"But why would these kids go uphill for water? A hill is an anticline, and water typically seeks the impervious layers of a syncline."

"...and the shepherd boy never got into any of the really good schools."

"Should we let him in? He says he's Wolf Blitzer."

Obese Hansel and Grettle

'Bedtime reading.'

Santa Rebukes a Naughty Child

"....And the humans go, 'Blah, blah, blah'."

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'My mom read me Alice in Wonderland last night. That's the same woman that said the Easter bunny was imaginary.'

You are unique... unless there's a parallel universe.

'Do you really need a bedtime story before every nap?'

'And then Baby Bear said...'

'The princess lived happily ever after on her dividends from her investment portfolio.'

'Then the king rewrote the tax code so everyone could understand it, and all the CPAs went out of business.'

'Aren't you supposed to be reading that out loud?'

Goldilocks discovers Father Bear's recliner.

"According to your pre-nuptial agreement,if you divorce her you'll turn back into a frog."

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

"And that is why GMO's are bad."

Man falls asleep whilst reading a bedtime story to his son.

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

"Shouldn't you be reading that to me out loud or something?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

' 'Fairy Tales' by Hans Multifaith Andersen.'