Story Time Enthusiasts Gifts

Mother teaching her children to read.

'Dad, I know you're busy, but how much time do you save reading me Reader's Digest Condensed version of The Cat in the Hat.'

'Bedtime stories at the Browns'.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

The Poky Little Pupa.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Page One