Story-time Lovers Gifts

Here you go, dear

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

The Poky Little Pupa.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'