Storytime Enthusiasts Gifts

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"It's not about the story. It's about Daddy taking time out of his busy day to read you the story."

"And then all the kibble fell overboard and nothing was left but kale..."

"Grandpa rose to the top by himself, Jordan. There was no Sherpa."

The Book Club

"I don't know about you but I can't wait to get back to our book club!"

"I don't think Bo Peep was too bothered by foot and mouth...."

'...and they all went into the witness protection plan and lived happily ever after.'

'We can pay you, or we can give you healthcare coverage, but we can't do both.'

"Oh, no! He just tweeted that he's downloaded a Huff and Puff app."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Page One