Storytime Enthusiast Pillows

Yale shadow

'Let's get a few things straight. No speed reading, no silly voices, no skipping pages...'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Give it your best shot, Dad. I've had a hard day.'

"...and the shepherd boy never got into any of the really good schools."

"Should we let him in? He says he's Wolf Blitzer."

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"The Wise Men brought gifts: ginseng, St John's and ginkgo biloba"

"But why would these kids go uphill for water? A hill is an anticline, and water typically seeks the impervious layers of a syncline."

'...but the third little pig heeded government advice and built his house from blast proof concrete.'

'I'm taking you off porridge.'

Bedtime Reading

Obese Hansel and Grettle

"Shouldn't you be reading that to me out loud or something?"

Santa Rebukes a Naughty Child

"....And the humans go, 'Blah, blah, blah'."

'My mom read me Alice in Wonderland last night. That's the same woman that said the Easter bunny was imaginary.'

"And that is why GMO's are bad."

You are unique... unless there's a parallel universe.

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"According to your pre-nuptial agreement,if you divorce her you'll turn back into a frog."

Man falls asleep whilst reading a bedtime story to his son.

Goldilocks discovers Father Bear's recliner.

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

'Bedtime reading.'

' 'Fairy Tales' by Hans Multifaith Andersen.'

'Do you really need a bedtime story before every nap?'

'Aren't you supposed to be reading that out loud?'

'And then Baby Bear said...'

'Then the king rewrote the tax code so everyone could understand it, and all the CPAs went out of business.'

'The princess lived happily ever after on her dividends from her investment portfolio.'

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Goldilocks and the Three Little Pigs