Storytime Fanatic Pillows

Please, oh please, oh please!

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."