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"Señor Giant, don't listen to Don Quixote. That is my windmill, not your cousin Pedro."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."