Storytelling Fanatic Gifts

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

"It happened at a book burning. It was one of those books I couldn't put down."

'Dad says we have to walk 20 miles in the snow, barefoot, just to get to the first ride.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

The Fourth Little Pig

'Where was the TSA?'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"Recalculating route..."

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

This side is the gag reel.

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Moby Dick

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."