Storyteller Lover Gifts

The intellectual and the wise

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Feel free to take notes."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

Hansel and Gretal

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'