Prayer Practitioner Gifts

Give Thanks.

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

Saying Grace.

"The latest studies show that only 7% of professionals are going to meet their pensions expectations."

'I'm either going to become a vegetarian or start saying grace before meals!'

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

Grace For Flies

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

Praying mantis.

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

Holy phone

And cut down on the praying if you want the housemaid's knee to go...

'I'm about to say my prayers, Dad. Do you want more pocket money too?'

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

"Actually, it's pronounced 'An-hel'."

How to Succeed in Business - Strategy 2: Build relationships at the highest level.

Praying.

"So … ribs for lunch?"

"Sometimes, God deserves a standing ovation."

"All I have is tofu."

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

For Witches of a Certain Age

'This message contains confidential and/or legally privileged information, unintended recipients may not use, copy or disclose any portion of this transmission.'

'I didn't realize my mom thought so much of our school. . . she's been thanking God for it everyday lately.'