Prayer Advocate Gifts

Grace For Flies

Women Preachers? Gay relationships? Let's pray for guidance.

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

Monk Prompt

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

Praying mantis.

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

Saying Grace.

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

Holy phone

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

"...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education..."

And cut down on the praying if you want the housemaid's knee to go...

'I'm about to say my prayers, Dad. Do you want more pocket money too?'

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

'God Bless Momma, and Daddy and Fluffy...'

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."