Prayer Pro Gifts

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake... Well, that would be pretty rotten thing to do, God, seeing as I'm only eight years old."

Grace For Flies

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

Monk Prompt

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"Amen. Please help me up."

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

Praying mantis.

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

Saying Grace.

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."