Faith Practitioner Gifts

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'

Saying Grace.

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

'Confusionism'

Out for lunch... GOD

Priest

Soren Kierkegaard

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

Give Thanks.

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

'Oh, I believe in God -- I just think that he's overrated.'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

'That lumbago you just got rid of - you gave to me!'

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

Help Wanted: Faith Healer Healthcare Provider.

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

"People are always saying how stupid it is that the bst practitioners are always promoted and make poor managers....but I think that's complete rubbish...He was a lousy practitioner as well!"

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'Sorry to interrupt - your monastery is on fire...the IRS wants to talk to you - and something about a missing case of wine.'

'But if He's omniscient, wouldn't praying just annoy him?'

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

Yoga Class: Position Vacant

Progressions.

Priest sees 'one way' sign point upwards toward heaven.

Monsters Contemplating Religion.

"Everyone wants to know what Jesus would do. No one ever asks how Jesus is feeling about his complicated relationship with his father."

"Now that I'm enlightened, I have to admit: I kind of miss the suffering."

"So … ribs for lunch?"