Faith Healer Gifts

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'what do you mean 'Don't expect miracles'? Why shouldn't I expect miracles?'

'Can you take away my worms?'

"Let these catalysts catalyze! Allow this experiment to be expedited. Help these chemicals to coalesce."

"Well I can ask, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't do house calls."

"I want you to believe! And when you leave here, I want you to throw away your crutches!"

"You have a life threatening disease. I'm going to refer you to God."

"I'm a faith-based mechanic...fot £39.95 I'll pray for your transmission."

'Can't heal you unless you believe.'

'This is all just a front. Actually, I'm a faith healer.'

The Faith Healer in Bed.

'That lumbago you just got rid of - you gave to me!'

Faith Healer, Heal Thyself: 'HEAL!'

Help Wanted: Faith Healer Healthcare Provider.

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

'Can you take away my worms?'

'I will now demonstrate the laying on of hands - MINE not yours!'

Evangelist and dog trainer extraordinaire, Ernie Gumbromowitz.

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

Advances in Third World Healthcare

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Before the riots/after the riots

Nun Binning the Devil

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'