Family Healer Gifts

Hurt Knee

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

New Age Store.

Advances in Third World Healthcare

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

Before the riots/after the riots

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

"I've got a painful burning sensation in my groin, doc."

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Pediatrics: Anatomy

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

"I'm a retired doctor."

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

Broken Heart

Alternative Medicine.

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

"I'd like a note excusing me from my wife's childbirth!"

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'