Traditional Healer Gifts

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

Would you have anything for a head-ache?

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'I don't suppose there's any chance of a 'professional discount'?'

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

New Age Store.

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

Alternative Medicine.

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

The New Age Dentist.

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'I'm taking you off the herbal tea.'

'Got anything for a headache?'

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

Fakir Shrink.

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

"Here, let me put some ointment on your bug bite. I made it myself from cayenne powder, licorice root and mugwort leaves blended with that vanilla pudding I made last week. Hmm...it's not here."

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'