Holistic Healer Gifts

"Under our holistic approach, Mr. Wyndot, we not only treat your symptoms, we also treat your dog."

Cactus says to other cactus: 'I think the acupuncture is working.'

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"I think I need a prescription, Doctor. Those herbal remedies have gotten so expensive I can't afford them!"

"Our main medical therapy is homeopathy for us and our pets."

'I'm a holistic dentist, Mrs. McPhee -- You'll have to disrobe.'

New Age Store.

'Let me through, please- I'm a herbalist!

'Listen to me, Margie -- you can't solve all your problems with herb tea!'

'Relaxing with accupressure is easy. Press here, here, here and here, and order take-out.'

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

"I'm all in favour of alternative medicine, using boil twigs and chanting has cut our drugs budget in half!"

Organic Curses

Traditional and Alternative Medicine

"I hear he's a dry holistic lawyer. He knows all the loopholes."

"I am going to SoHo. My doshas are all out of balance. Well, my kapha is hunky-dory but my pitta and vata are out of whack. Today the practitioner is going to get rid of all the stress with geranium, ylang-ylang, bergamot, and patchouli, and, of course, a little time in the steam tent."

'I'm always pleased to meet my daughters college friends Alan. I hear you're studying alternative medicine? Reiki or acupuncture?'

'Dear BBC, I am writing to complain about your show with the misleading title of Grow Your Own Drugs ...'

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

A man with a crooked spine goes to a chiropractor.

Connect This, Woo-Woos

"Penicillin? I'm sorry – I don't practice alternative medicine."

The New Age Dentist.

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

"Considering the drug's side effects, I think I'll just keep my symptoms."

"You MAY be right and the pain may be the result of a 'misaligned chakra' but just humour me and let's see if the broken leg has anything to do with it!"

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup