Holistic Therapist Gifts

Holistic Health Centre - Now Featuring Whole-Body Billing.

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

"Have you tried St. John's Wort?"

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

Ecological Therapy

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

The Farmer Sutra.

The New Age Dentist.

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Acupuncture clinic

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Alternative Medicine.

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

'It's anxiety. Don't worry, vitamin B happy.'

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

Connect This, Woo-Woos

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'I'm working through some anger issues.'

"How long have you been suffering from anthropomorphism?"

Alternative medicine

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

Right, like you're the first shrink to recommend aromatherapy.

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."