Holistic Healers Gifts

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'Do we have any oldies but goodies that you would care to hear?'

Acupuncture clinic

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

The New Age Dentist.

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Alternative Medicine.

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

'It's anxiety. Don't worry, vitamin B happy.'

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

Alternative medicine

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

'When it comes to stress relief, I believe in a holistic approach.'

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'