Holistic Healer Critic Gifts

Alternative illnesses for alternative medicine.

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

"Preparing for another day nursing?"

Alternative Medicine.

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

The New Age Dentist.

Acupuncture clinic

'It's anxiety. Don't worry, vitamin B happy.'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'And so, Ladies and Germs, I conclude that we must promote homeopathy! This may be our best chance to wipe out the human race since the glory days of the Black Plague.'

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

Dancing Doctor

Chicken soup is in an intravenous drip.

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

Alternative medicine

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."