Faith Healer Fiction Fan Gifts

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

"Say hello to my little friend."

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Sumo Love.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

Stephen King

I'm ridiculously small. My nose is huge. I have ears like a jackass... Manic depressive with low elf esteem.

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"There's no need to howl at every moon we pass by."

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"Hallelujah!"

'Who's that painted lady?'

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

Honk if you're holy.

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'Of course I like to base all my characters on real life. For instance the fat useless guy in my last novel was you!'

Best Seller of All Times...The Holy Bible:'No fair. You're creating your own readers.'

'I'm taking you off the herbal tea.'

'Church of the Divine Healing with an Emergency Room.'

'I like to spend my train journeys reading fiction.' (He looks at Rail Timetable. Sign says 'Delays expected'.)

'Got anything for a headache?'

'I've never met such a heartless, gutless and brainless board of directors!'

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

'More options!'