Heavenly Fiction Fan Gifts

Best Seller of All Times...The Holy Bible:'No fair. You're creating your own readers.'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"It's true: no more burpees."

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

About the curriculum. The contemporary novel from Austen to Dickens...

Trilby - Finis

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Next in Lion

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Tony Weller ejects Mr. Stiggins

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates

'It's my latest novel, 'Hard Times' part 2.'

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

'I got a job working for Google Earth.'

God's Law.

The Meeting

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"