Heavenly Fans Gifts

'Twickenham this weekend?'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"It's true: no more burpees."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

Heaven

"Closed until further notice."

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

Football Angel

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"

"It's about all the treasure laid up here."

Why it takes longer for lawyers to get in: 'This would go a lot faster if you'd stop saying, 'alleged'...'

"That's one thing you can't get up here, a good hot curry."

Angel Basketball

"Not too short, or people won't know I'm God."

"I had hoped to vote in US elections."

Emptying the Bin