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'Twickenham this weekend?'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

Heaven

Best Seller of All Times...The Holy Bible:'No fair. You're creating your own readers.'

"Closed until further notice."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

"Who did you think has been drawing you all this time?"

"It's about all the treasure laid up here."

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"

Football Angel

Why it takes longer for lawyers to get in: 'This would go a lot faster if you'd stop saying, 'alleged'...'

"That's one thing you can't get up here, a good hot curry."

Angel Basketball

"They said you can't take it with you. . . and you believed them?"

And on the seventh day He rested

"Not too short, or people won't know I'm God."

Emptying the Bin