Heavenly Football Fan Gifts

"Excellent Hail Mary."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Wanna toss the ol' virtual pigskin?"

"Uptight End"

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

Archaeologists discover a football

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

'Touchdown!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"Go deep!"

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

Football Violence

A well-known poet lives on this street. Building Supplies. I just need one. She authored a prize-winning screenplay. That offensive lineman is a novelist. My journalist friend is rejecting calls from my number. It's frustrating. I just can't escape writer's block.

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Referee cop.

Red Card - Gold Card.

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

Sports Medicine.