Heavenly Health Fan Gifts

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Corona Funeral

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Darn it, lost another swab."

Give me your sick...

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

Paramedics.

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

Heaven

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

Football fans in corona times

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"Closed until further notice."

"My Harvard Medical Guide says if a wisdom tooth is infected, you may need antibiotics and possibly have the tooth pulled by an oral surgeon."

"Since when is 'Broccoli man' a superhero?"

Football Angel

'Your better half isn't up here... It seems you were the better half.'

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"

Thank you healthcare heroes

Why it takes longer for lawyers to get in: 'This would go a lot faster if you'd stop saying, 'alleged'...'

'Careful - that new bed is a little touchy.'

"That's one thing you can't get up here, a good hot curry."