Heavenly Health Fan Gifts

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Corona Funeral

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Darn it, lost another swab."

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

Give me your sick...

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

Paramedics.

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

Heaven

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

Best Seller of All Times...The Holy Bible:'No fair. You're creating your own readers.'

"Closed until further notice."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

Football fans in corona times

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

'Whew! Five surgeries in one day! Well, let's try to make this last one end on a happy note!'

"Since when is 'Broccoli man' a superhero?"

"My Harvard Medical Guide says if a wisdom tooth is infected, you may need antibiotics and possibly have the tooth pulled by an oral surgeon."

"Who did you think has been drawing you all this time?"

Thank you healthcare heroes

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"

Football Angel

'Your better half isn't up here... It seems you were the better half.'

Why it takes longer for lawyers to get in: 'This would go a lot faster if you'd stop saying, 'alleged'...'

'Careful - that new bed is a little touchy.'