Health Awareness Fan Gifts

A man splits in half when lifting a heavy box.

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

Football fans in corona times

'Couldn't Jack Spratt eat polyunsaturated fat?'

"Since when is 'Broccoli man' a superhero?"

"My Harvard Medical Guide says if a wisdom tooth is infected, you may need antibiotics and possibly have the tooth pulled by an oral surgeon."

'The knees are the first thing to go.'

'We transformed our lives for the better.'

I feel like he's undressing me and checking for irregular moles with his eyes. Dating a dermatologist.

Beware of Obsessive-Compulsive Dog

Auto Repair. I'm just taking it in for a few adjustments. A visit to the car-o-practor!

If at first you don't succeed, call your malpractice insurance company.

"Nice abs!"

"You may hear a few wise cracks."

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

"The hip bone's connected to the...' Once you start humming, it all comes back to you."

"Someday we'll look back at this as the golden age of childhood obesity."

Warning! Do not slam into this sign while chasing after fly balls.

45% of GPs Ignore Nice Hypertension Guide.

"I love boutique healthcare! I have a great doctor on retainer and I get this great subscription box every month!"

Password?

CAUTION: Smoking can make you look like Pete Doherty.

Enjoying summer baseball, D-style.

"Maybe you should think about going on a diet."

'Ow! I tore something in my elbow, when I pulled out the cork. I thought red wine was supposed to be good for you.'

Junk food.

Smokes Like A Chimney

'Know what? I can't be arsed.'

Man being stabbed in back by a cloud of his own cigarette smoke

'Jack Spratt and his wife today'